The gap is widening.

Tuesday one of my sisters is taking a trip to Texas with her kids to go to the Great Wolf Lodge. I have really been wanting to go there since it opened last year and now that Keagan is old enough he yells " I want to go there!!" everytime they show the commercials for it. I told my DH that we were going to go sometime at the begining of June but we didn't have the date quite down yet because my sister had to figure out her work schedule. She told me last week that she was wanting to go on the second. Ok no big deal....right? Two days ago my DH band mate called and asked if he wanted to play a show on Tuesday and oh course (he never consults with me before making such arrangements) he agreed. Now I am sitting here trying to figure out what I should do. Do I take the kids by myself on the Amtrak and rent a car when we get down there, or do I skip it?

CONS

*Keagan is at the age of no reasoning with and Gabe is at the very wiggley i want down and crawl stage.

* We only have one car that is drivable right now and that is the van in which my DH needs to transport his drums.

*My eldest sister and her kids won't be there.

*My DH isn't even going to get any money for play this damn show.

PROS

*I found a really good deal on a rate.

*I think taking him somewhere fun might help with his attitude. (When we took him to Disney World he was the best behaved I had ever seen him.)

* I think I need to have some kind of fun before I have a nervous brake down.


The thing that makes me really upset though is that i asked him what he would rather do and he said play the show. I am so sick and tired of having to schedule our lives around weather he has band practice or a show. Even the damn birth of our youngest had to be scheduled around his show schedule. Duriing the last Month and a half of my pregnancy I had contractions two min. apart and he would still go to practice.DH is a great muscian and he has a gift, I am just tired of coming second. Why in the hell did I marry a musician? I feel like there is just this giant gap growing between us and he wants to do nothing to fix it. I don't know what to do. I have been so depressed lately. DH and I don't hardly even sleep in the same bed anymore. We have to take shifts with the kids because if we don't Keagan will wake up before us and escape out into the front yard in his PJ's. Neither one of us belive in getting a devorce unless there are circumstances that deserve one, so that is pretty much out of the question. This is way off topic but he hasnt gotten me a birthday, Christmas, Anniversary or mothers day presant in two years. It was so bad the this past Christmas Keagan asked me while they were all opening their presants " Mommy why are you not opening any presants? " I just told him simply while looking at my DH " because mommy didn't get any this year. " Well I guess that all for now. DH had to go take his mom to the hospital because she is sick so I will probably be alone all night.

..........Great Gabe just woke up. No sleep for me tonight.